I might always remember December 18, 2014. This was the day while at work, at SUNY Albany, we were all trying to focus on our work and stay on top of the news about a child abduction that had occurred in Knox. This was just a few miles (OK, Country miles, but still) from where I live, and near Thatcher Park where Jim and I frequent with our family and have many photo sessions. This was the day I hurried to my hair appointment and sat next to a school district employee, from a neighboring district, and listened to her complain about not being able to get out of her building because they were in lock-down. She couldn’t understand why this affected her because the missing child did not attend her school.
A few hours later we learned the sad story of Kenneth White. Our kids knew about the Amber Alert, and they saw that little boy’s face on the news. They were scared to think that someone had gone into someone’s home and stolen a little boy. We now had to tell them that as horrible as that was, the real story seemed to point instead to that little boy’s own family. He was not safe with his family and he was not missing, but instead had been taken violently, and unfairly, from this world by a member of his family.
This story so affected us. It may have been due to the proximity to our home and the holidays, but there was something about having to go through a local amber alert, with the worst possible outcome, and having to walk through the whole thing with our kids. Trying to find the words to help them understand something we didn’t, and still don’t, ourselves understand. We had to do something…. something to heal our hearts.
We put out a plea for nominations for a free photo session with us. We wanted to give this to someone who could not or would not do this for themselves. We were contacted by some wonderful people who wanted to gift this session to their friends and families. All were deserving, but it was one of the messages we received from someone we had never met, not even a follower of ours, that changed everything. This is where our hearts started to heal.
Meet the Shermans:
Bob and Candice met when she was 17 and he was 22, while working in the same restaurant. Just kids themselves, they loved each other, built a life together, got married and had babies: 3 of them. Life was busy.
In 2009, when their children were approximately 8, 6, and 5 years old, Bob and Candice opened their home to a relative’s four children, making them a family of NINE. Seven children between the ages of 1 and 8 and Bob and Candice. One year later, Candice found she was pregnant, and they are now a family of TEN. When I asked Candice if they planned to have a large family, she said, “We weren’t against having a large family but we didn’t plan to have such a large family either- it is clear that God did.” It isn’t until 2013 that the adoption process was finalized, making them a legal family.
Bob leaves his inflexible job to stay home and care for their bounty of children while Candice maintains her employment outside the home. Having a family this size requires flexibility, sacrifice, creativity and the ability to accept support. Candice credits the support of good friends, family and their church with their success.
In the months leading up to our meeting, I constantly ask myself how they do it. I can barely get through my life with 2 kids and a couple of dogs let alone a family of this size. I mean are there enough sick days to get through one round of the stomach bug, let alone doctor appointments, the orthodontist, eye care, and holy cow, have you seen the price of milk?!
Oh, and did I mention that the Shermans also foster? Yes, there is a foster child living in their home. As luck would have it, with eight kids of their own, their hearts have enough love for one more.
Jim and I brought an assistant with us the day of the shoot. Michelle is awesome, great with kids, and has a super comfortable vibe. We were hoping she would be enough, foreseeing this large group, kids running everywhere who surely were going to get bored. [Umm, no, that would have been our kids, if they were there.] Instead, these kids were polite, friendly, silly, quick to laugh, well behaved, respectful of us and each other. They were heaven. Bob and Candice are lovely, sweet with each other, laughing and smiling. The whole thing was CAKE and the kids…. adorable.
So, our hearts, they feel a lot better. In this couple of hours on the morning of May 2, we started to feel better. Our session took place at Thatcher Park, just down the street from where this whole thing started, and just one day shy of the two year anniversary of the finalization of that adoption that doubled the size of their family. In the end, while we set out to do something for someone else, we find ourselves unable to repay this special family for what they have done for us.
Finally, if you are considering opening your home to children in need, do it. If you know someone who already does, help them. Open your ears and be a friend, arrange a picnic, donate back to school supplies. Candice said some beautiful words….
“At the end of the day the truth is it is hard work to blend a family like this, sometimes it really takes walking in each other shoes and making the effort to understand. Some days it takes patience that can only come directly from God. Its making choices to love each other through the good and the bad days and realizing how blessed we are to be part of something bigger than ourselves.”
Love,
Lynne and Jim
